I so badly want to reach out to someone.. for nothing other than a friendly ear, a smile, support. But I am so rarely anything other than the strong one. The friend people lean on, depend on and count on to be a pillar. I'm not allowed to have bad days because I'm such a positive, happy person. The one time I look vulnerable to anyone, they'll never look at me the same again. I don't want pity or sympathy.
I had a bad week. That's all there is to it. It feels like for the last few months, everyone around me has been putting me down, or telling me "what they really think of me", or things that I could change about myself, or what I did wrong.. This week was just brutal with the icing on the cake being I rented two cars last week. Why? Because for the first time in my life, that was actually an option. I finally have the option to drive myself where I need too, if I can. If I don't have time. If I want too. Because I said so. Then? Then they charged me $500 for two detailing charges because I'd wanted to share my high-on-life with my heart, my (4yr old) puppy, and take her to the offleash area. Something that we infrequently do, due to my lack of wheels. I never ask people for anything. So rarely will I allow myself to do that. But I NEVER ask people to DO things for me, to waste their gas on me (I once had a bf tell me this, but we were young and he is stupid), to get dog hair in their cars, when they themselves don't have a dog.. I know that can be annoying. So I decided I would do this for her. But no. Apparently this means "excessive soilage". And it's "in the contract you signed". Nothing more, nothing less.
So I called.
I barely got two words in, so I called him a dick. I spoke to lawyers at work on a personal-off-the-job basis for advise on what they would do-if-they-were-me and we went through the contract. She pointed out a few things and the way they were worded and things that I should ask for. Proof of this or that, if they're going to charge me for it, et cetera.. When I phoned that specific location, she did not say what was in the contract; instead? She said "it's a standard $250 rate we charge after pets have been in the vehicle." Oh, really? Cuz that's not at all what your contract says, and in a court of law, that's all that will matter. The "written word". So you can bite me and give me my money back.
Money I don't have and shouldn't have spent, but wanted to, to be happy and independent. Free from the constraints that is the city limits.
And if they don't? Well, you bet your ass I'll get the media involved because f*ck you, that's why. There's a reason I'm renting a car. BECAUSE I CAN'T AFFORD ONE. Nevermind a $500 total CLEANING charge, which I could have lint rolled myself and no one would have known she was in there. I consider myself to be a fairly clean person, and may I point out, I am also allergic to my dog. So where I can understand where you are coming from with regards to other customers allergies, you should warn customers about the potential cleaning charge. Another thing, I did not authroize this charge, so I'll be calling my credit card company to dispute the charges. Yeah.
Things at work have been iffy since I got back from holidays as well. Could it be because of the Monroe piercing? You must understand that my company is "old". Meaning, everyone has worked there for at least 15 years and up to 35, like my boss. So, what does that tell you? It tells you that they are of the generation that is not big into self expression through body modification. But just because you're not into it, is no reason to ignore me, treat me differently or make me feel like I'm jeopardizing my job. I have not done anything wrong - there is no policy against this. I checked. I even told my boss before I got it that the company needed to review their policies, with new people coming in..
Oh well. My plan is to go into work, on my Saturday, and bust my ass cleaning up everything that's on my "to-do" list, so that when they come in on Monday, no one will have a reason to be pissy with me. I've had it.
I've been stressed to the max with money and debt - debt that I only accumulated because of the stupid recession. I've never been in debt before the last few years. I stopped living from paycheque to paycheque, and began surviving on my credit cards. Which is no way to live, but it sure as hell beats being homeless. I had my priorities at least - rent, bills, pets, food. In that order. I was always last. I had to have a roof over my pets head. I sold what I could to squeeze pennies. I'm proud of how I overcame what I did, but now it's crunch time. I want a car, I want to get on with my life.
And only I can get these things for myself.
As much as my boyfriend wants to feel "needed", this has nothing to do with him. This is something I need to look after.
/rant.
Nearly 1am and I have training at 8am.. yeah.. cuz that was smart. Le sigh.. Just shows what kind of week I've had. Late bedtime=can't sleep due to stress and busy mind..
No comments:
Post a Comment